


Puppy Love

by merycula (thanksillpass)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kindergarten & Pre-school, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-26 02:52:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/960714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksillpass/pseuds/merycula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bob always loved his job. Being a kindergarten teacher filled him with joy and sense of purpose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [Puppy Love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1085582) by [GabbyD BR (GabbyD)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabbyD/pseuds/GabbyD%20BR)



Bob always loved his job. Being a kindergarten teacher filled him with joy and sense of purpose. He loved children, mostly because they were the only humans that didn’t scare the shit out of him. Oops, what an inappropriate language. Apologies. 

That being said, Bob always loved his job. Until one Wade Wilson got under his care. Bob wouldn’t like to say he started fearing for his life since he met the six year old, but he really did. Little Wade was a hurricane, a destructive force sweeping everything on its path. Ever since Wade’s transfer, Bob have been threatened, blackmailed, injured and publicly humiliated.

But Bob was nothing if not patient. He was sure he was able to make Wade love him, or at least not want to kill him. All the evidence was to the contrary, but Bob didn’t lose faith. He quietly took everything from Wade, be it a fit of rage, an insult, a hurtful laughter. He observed, patiently, silently; he waited. And his silent prayers must have been heard and his salvation came, in the form of young Peter Parker. 

Turn out, that most of Wade’s antics were to impress Peter. Bob was torn between being outraged and delighted. Because really, couldn’t Wade think of a better way? Like baking? But honestly it was one of the cutest things imaginable. Peter was a kind and lovely child, he got along with almost everyone, and he was so smart Bob was awestruck most of the time. At least Wade had good taste in people, if not with the methods of befriending them. But Bob would help him with that too.

"You know, Wade…" he started tentatively one morning when Wade was side-eyeing Peter, who was currently playing house with Mary Jane Watson. "Maybe you should just talk to him instead of stuffing lego into my nose and hoping he will find it as funny as you do."

Wade looked at him, eyes wide and filled with silent terror, mouth agape. 

"Now, don’t get mad, and don’t try to give me concussion so I forget what I know."

"I’m not gonna give you confusion I’m gonna hit you hard in the head," Wade growled and Bob chuckled. "You think I’m joking you big sissy?"

"Oh no, I know exactly how serious you are, but so am I. If you would just listen to me, we could figure a way to make Peter like you without hitting anyone."

"But I like hitting people."

"But are you sure Peter likes it when you hit people?"

Wade closed his mouth and furrowed his brows in confusion. It was as adorable as it was frightening that this kid actually thought violence was appealing to everyone. After a while of giving Bob’s offer some serious thought, Wade nodded begrudgingly and spat on his palm, holding it out for Bob to shake it. Bob hoped his smile didn’t look as forced as it really was. 

"So what do I do to make him like me," Wade mumbled into his sleeve as he wiped his nose with it.

"This is just an idea but maybe try, I don’t know… talking to him? I don’t think I have ever seen you two talk."

An embarrassed blush crept on Wade’s cheeks and Bob almost squealed. “He’s always with someone…”

Bob wanted to cry, he really did. He wanted to say,  _I can relate my little buddy, I really can,_  but he didn’t want to lose the authority. “Well, how about the next time you work in groups, I’ll ask Peter to work with you and Lester? Lester is harmless, isn’t he?” He knew Lester was everything but harmless, but in Wade’s terms he didn’t pose any threat; he was more interested in eating his own snot than befriending Peter Parker.

"You would do that for me?!" Wade asked, unusually excited.

"If you promise not to bully me anymore. Do we have deal?"

"Yes, once Peter is my wife I won’t have anytime for you anyway!" Wade assured him and run off to Lester, probably to manipulate him into agreeing to their masterplan. 

Bob laughed softly, careful for his chuckle not to turn into a relieved sob. Wait,  _wife?_ Not that Bob thought there was anything wrong with that, but they were only six! Ah, they grew up so fast…

Satisfied with his accomplishment, Bob gathered the children and announced group work. Everything was going smoothly, Lester even asked permission to go to the bathroom. Bob was enjoying the long-forgotten peace and quiet, content with the prospect of ending the little war between him and Wade. He was so blissed out and lost in thought he almost didn’t hear a loud crash and even louder cry. He snapped his eyes open and saw Peter lying on the floor - Wade above him, trying to do things Bob didn’t want to think about - crying his lungs out and pawing at Wade’s face.

_Oh Almighty Thor, have mercy on him…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Wade makes Peter eat mud

“I’m not gonna eat this, Wade” Peter mumbled, scrunching his nose.

Wade clicked his tongue impatiently and brought the pile of mud closer to Peter’s face, practically driving Peter into the wall.

“You will if you love me,” he said with a smirk.

Peter gasped, clutching at the collar of his shirt. “You _wouldn’t!_ ”

Wade’s smirk grew wider. “How else you gonna prove your love, Peter? I proved mine when you asked me to take a spider out of your hair and I _did!_ ”

“ _You_ put it there, Wade! It doesn’t count!”

“So you don’t believe I love you?”

Peter shut his eyes and shook his head violently. He didn’t really mean it, he did believe Wade loved him; after all, he did everything Peter asked. If Peter told him to, he didn’t eat buggers, or kick Bob, or spit on Mr. Ruffles – the resident guinea pig. But Peter _really_ didn’t want to eat mud… Aunt May told him all about it being dirty and full of germs. He did love Wade, he wanted to marry him and live in the same house with him and Mr. Ruffles, but he just couldn’t eat _mud!_

“Then I will eat this mud too!” Wade shouted suddenly, determination painting his face. “Then you will believe I love you? Then you will eat it too?”

Peter gaped. No, no, no, this wasn’t the plan! Wade was looking at him expectantly and Peter started to sweat. Why was love so hard?! Where was Bob when Peter needed him?! The teacher’s name slipped out Peter’s mouth without his control.

“Bob? What do you need four-eyes for? You’re not cheating on me, are you?”

“N-no! Of course not! I love only you, I swear!”

Wade blushed furiously and tried to hide it under a suspicious glare. “You better…” he mumbled.

“I do,  I do! I just, uh, remembered something about Bob. Something he told me.”

That was a lie too, but it seemed to catch Wade’s interest, so Peter decided to just roll with it. He really hoped that Uncle Ben didn’t just lie to him that one time Peter asked why was he and Aunt May kissing and he said that people did that when they loved each other.

“You trust Bob, do you?”

Wade seemed to consider it. “Well, he did give me a pretty good advice on you and now you love me  so I guess I do.”

Peter sighed with relief. “Okay then. See, Bob told me that when people want to prove their love, they k-kiss.”

“Kiss? Ew.”

Peter blinked in confusion. Kissing was gross but eating mud was _romantic_? Sometimes he didn’t understand Wade. At all. But he loved him all the same even if he didn’t know why. MJ said it was the best kind of love – “all heart and no reason” – but Peter suspected she watched too many soap operas to be fully trusted. Somehow, he didn’t care.

Wade looked adorable with his confused scowl, shifting his look from Peter to the mud in his hand and back again. Peter felt like being mean; he would apologize to Aunt May for it later.

“So you don’t want to prove your love to me?” he asked in a small voice, glancing at Wade from behind his lashes. MJ taught him that. She learned that from TV. It had to work.

“I- I want to,” stammered Wade, his cheeks turning red.

He reluctantly dropped the mud and wiped his hand on his pants before stepping closer to Peter. His warm breath smelling of raspberry candy hit Peter’s face and Peter shuddered. He didn’t mind the way his cheeks grew hot, because he could see that Wade’s were burning too. He closed his eyes and waited, trying to ignore the fear of Wade using this opportunity to feed him mud anyway.

Peter didn’t know how long he was waiting but it didn’t matter once Wade’s chapped dry lips touched his. It lasted just a second and Wade’s warmth was gone as soon as his lips. When Peter opened his eyes, completely dazed, he saw Wade kicking the dirt with his hands in his pockets, head hanged low to hide his blush. Peter couldn’t help but grin.

He giggled and bounced off the wall to put his arms around Wade’s neck. “I looooooove you!”

Wade grumpily mumbled something into Peter’s shoulder and he put his arms around Peter’s back and Peter was happy. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for a 3 sentence fic meme

Wade looked at the crying boy in front of him with wide eyes filled with terror. He didn’t even hit Peter that hard - he just swung his arm and brushed it against Peter’s temple, he really didn’t mean to make him cry like that! Fidgeting slightly, he took a band-aid off his own nose and carefully placed it on Peter’s forehead, kissing it lightly and discovering with shock that the crying stopped almost immediately. 


End file.
